July 26, 2010
BY POPULAR DEMAND: GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE
Posted by Michael
Listen in: God’s Plan for Marriage
Learn:
Genesis 2:18, 21-25
18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.” 24For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
References: Matthew 19:3-12, Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Peter 5:5-7
Main Idea:
Marriage is a sticky topic because the cultural ideals are so far from the biblical ideals. There are two myths about marriage that are simply false. The first myth is that being married is somehow better than being single. It’s not (and neither is the converse). Jesus was single, as was Paul. You do not need to be married to live a fulfilling, God-honoring life. The second myth is that marriage is all about your fulfillment. God’s purpose in marriage is not to make you happy. It’s to make you holy, and that will be impossible to achieve if God is not at the center. Even the greatest heroes in the Bible had conflict in their marriages. How do you improve your marriage? Seek Jesus first. Pursue personal holiness, then ask yourself what you can do today to show love to your spouse. What if you are no longer “in love” with him/her? Having romantic feelings is not a prerequisite for a God honoring marriage. We are not commanded to have certain emotions towards our spouse. We are commanded to love them.
Know What: God’s ideal for marriage is impossible without God’s help in marriage.
So What: We need to abandon today’s cultural views of marriage and singleness for a more biblical understanding of them.
Now What: The best thing you can do for your spouse (whether currently married or not) is to seek personal holiness with reckless abandon.
Discuss…
1. Have you ever been tempted to believe either of the two myths about marriage? How has believing these myths affected you?
2. How has the current culture shaped your views and ideals about marriage? Are these views consistent with the biblical view of marriage? If not, how can you reshape your thinking?
3. If you are single, do you have a picture of what characteristics your ideal spouse will have? What are they? Are you committed to being patient and trusting God to bring that person into your life rather than simply “settling” out of fear of being alone?
4. Do you see why it’s important to rip up this picture once you are married? What are the dangers of not ripping it up?
5. What is the difference between pursuing holiness in your marriage rather than happiness?
6. Do you think the concept of “romantic love” has become idolized in our culture? If so, what have been the consequences of this idolization? Is it hard to accept that this kind of love is not a prerequisite for a God-honoring marriage? Why?
7. Have you set any unrealistic expectations for your current or future spouse? Is there anything you need to give up (certain movies and books, Facebook, memories of a past love, etc.) in order to guard yourself against these?
8. If you are married, how can you begin to seek God first in your marriage? If you are single and want to be married, what can you do right now to prepare yourself for having a God honoring marriage?
Pray
The topic of marriage can often bring up painful memories, regrets, or longings in people. This week, no matter what your marital status is or what your experience with marriage has been up until now, pray for grace. Pray for grace to flood your life and for wisdom to take the next right step.
