Go Ahead and Write Your Letter
I don’t know about you, but the word “distance” has become a regular part of my vocabulary. I have no idea how often I used the word back in January, but I can assure you that my daily use of the word has at least doubled, if not tripled, throughout the spring. And while not only is the use of the word but also the actual practice of the concept of “distance” in my daily life pretty different now, there is one marked area of my life where it’s not such a new practice.
I met the children I sponsor through one of Summit’s global partners close to eight years ago. On my first trip to Malawi with a team from Summit in 2012, I got to know two vibrant and playful children and one shy but witty and incredibly bright pre-teen. Our relationships have grown over the years with the expected progression of the ups and downs of life. I’ve seen them succeed in school and struggle with friendships. I’ve joined in celebrating the achievement of being named captain of the football (American soccer) team and grieved the news that a close family member received a terminal diagnosis. As the ebbs and flows of this life have continued for each of us, one thing has remained constant in our relationship—distance.
We’ve never known our relationship to exist without it—this distance thing. We all know that we’ll see each other only once a year, at best, and that only with the caveat that I happen to be able to travel with a team to Africa each year. We know that letters and photos take a long time to come through the mail and that, even when they do, there’s no guarantee that they’ll bring the updates or new information we’d hoped for. But we persist in this relationship born in spite of, or maybe actually out of, our distance.
Because we know that it’s worth it—I cherish the privilege to know these kids. They have opened my eyes to a different way of life, shown me how to experience joy that defies my circumstances, and exemplified a baseline of faith that I often struggle to find. We each add to each other's lives and stories in a way that is often small and distant but worth it nonetheless.
“But we persist in this relationship born in spite of, or maybe actually out of, our distance.”
As I, along with most others, walk through a season where each day is a challenge to make this new distance work in relationships that have rarely faced this particular challenge, I find myself wanting to be sure that I don’t forget to continue investing in the relationships that already do (and have to) make the existing distance work. I’ve been acutely aware lately that though my sponsored children may have become used to not hearing from me for a while as they wait on trips to be planned and mail to be processed, it doesn't negate the increased difficulty of distance in this season.
I wonder, today, how life will be for my sponsored children one or two months from now when they would receive a letter if I were to write one today. I wonder if they will be seeing suffering increase in their communities. I wonder if they’ll know someone suspected of having COVID-19. I wonder what worries they’ll face if social distancing orders or lockdowns are approved in their country—if and when their families will have to deal with challenges associated with social distancing that we will never know in the U.S. What will the conversation be like if they have to select who must leave home to get essentials like food and water for the family—not for a week or two but for that day? I wonder what they’ll have heard about the pandemic in the United States—will they even be fearing for my well being?
I know that my letter wouldn’t have the power or the weight to change their circumstances, and it would be easy to talk myself into thinking that it wouldn’t really make a difference at all—surely they have more important things to think about right now. But then I remember the letters from sponsors that I’ve seen hanging on the walls in homes all over Malawi. I remember when my oldest sponsored child asked about my brother by name after I’d mentioned him in one letter years previously. I remember finding the photos that I sent to my sponsored child who has special needs and can’t read hanging over her bed where she can see them. I remember the kids who find me and, hearing that I’m from Summit, ask if I know their sponsor because they know that they’re from Summit too. I remember hearing from parents that their child prays for their sponsor each night before they go to sleep. I remember these things and I know that if just being known and cared for makes a difference in the best of times, it certainly makes a difference in times like these.
I wonder and, if I’m being honest, even worry about so many of the obstacles my sponsored children may face in the weeks and months ahead. And I’ll admit that I have no way of knowing what they’d want to hear if I did write that letter today. But I do know some of the things they always want to hear—that I’m praying for them, that I believe that our God is still in control, and that, despite all of this distance, I’m still here and I’m still for them.
So today, I think I’ll go ahead and write that letter. I know that there are so many of you that sponsor children all over the world and I know that, just like mine, they would love to hear from you too. If you don’t sponsor a child, what about a family member or friend that lives far away? Would they appreciate a letter? Could a loved one who you don’t get to see often use a phone call? Distance surely isn’t getting easier because it’s more common now, right? It is clear to me now, more than ever, that relationships are hard as I fight to maintain them amongst this new distance day after day. And that’s all the more reason I shouldn’t forget about the relationships that have already been fighting that battle year after year.
Kari Freeman is the Communications Manager at Summit Church and has been a part of various sponsorship programs in Africa since she was 12 years old. If you have any questions or are unsure about what to say in a letter to your sponsored child, she’d be happy to share some tips—you can email her at kfreeman@summitconnect.org.