Parent to Parent: Wisdom from the speaker series
As summer approaches, the school year comes to an end, and families prepare for more time spent together at home, how can parents find a healthy balance making time for themselves?
In the summers of 2019 and 2021, we had the privilege of sitting down with some folks we admire to ask them about their journeys in parenting. Following these interviews, we shared as much of the wisdom and goodness as possible through in-person gatherings called “Parent to Parent: A speaker series.”
The truth is, there was so much quality content in each of our pre-panel interviews, and time didn’t allow for all of it to be shared in the gatherings, so we’re recapping some of it here! If you’re interested in hearing the recording from the speaker gatherings, we’ve linked each of the in-person panel discussions below.
Though our panelists had children spanning all age ranges, for this particular topic—“How do you balance ‘me time’ through different seasons of parenting?”—we asked everyone to think back to when their kids were young. And our panelists shared from a wide range of perspectives... So there's sure to be a few nuggets of wisdom that will be helpful to you, whatever season your family is in!
So! Let’s dive in.
Earl and Karen Ronquillo shared that their order of priorities is: God, their marriage, their kids, and then everything else. They recognize it is self-care to prioritize God first by ensuring their individual spiritual tanks are full, because otherwise nothing else can fall into place. They value making time to read, pray, and learn. They plan regular date nights to strengthen their marriage and their pact to be on the same team. Initially, they struggled to focus on anything but their firstborn child, and a date night only happened when they became completely overwhelmed. Over time they’ve learned to plan for time together regularly, since it’s vital to their family functioning. And get this–Earl and Karen took ballroom dancing lessons to help them work on leading and following one another, so they can stay on the same page even when everything around them feels chaotic. It was a two-fold win, having a scheduled date night with a deeper impact–brilliant!
Michael and Heather Margio shared the value of creating margin and balancing time for themselves by establishing a good sleep routine for their kids early on. Even though they’re not going out on a date each night, they know they’ll have time for themselves once their kids are in their beds at 7:00 p.m. Their family also practices weekly Sabbath rest, which is a day each family member looks forward to. Heather shared that she wakes up early for some time alone while the house is quiet, so she can read a devotional and her Bible and exercise.
Chad and Kara Buel shared the importance of working out their own heartaches and hang-ups so they can be the healthiest versions of themselves as they parent their child. Kara believes self-care is defined as being heard and valued, and wants their daughter to know Kara is a whole person, loved by God, outside of being a wife and mother. Chad offered that he seeks counseling on a monthly basis, and that it has made a great difference for him in pursuing who he wants to be as a person, spouse, and parent.
“…he seeks counseling on a monthly basis, and it makes a great difference for him in maintaining who he wants to be as a person, spouse, and parent.”
John Martinez shared what life was like when his kids were younger and more dependent upon him, especially as a single parent. He made it his goal to seek out men he looked up to and scheduled time to meet, process, and learn from them. He realized his own mental and emotional health had to be a priority, so while he didn’t have much rest or margin during those earlier years of single parenting, he cherishes the time he was able to raise his children and prioritize developing friendships with men he respected.
We told you these insights were solid gold, right? And these are just snippets of the full thing! Because we love the wisdom and helpful practices everyone shared, we hope you’ll give the full discussions a listen or a watch by following the links below.
And whether it’s scheduling time alone, a date night with your partner, or time to catch up with a friend, we encourage you to take steps toward making your own health and wellness a priority this summer!
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